Back to the Future II was a watershed film for technology predictions. While it had some hits and misses, it still was a valuable exercise in thinking about what’s possible.
Where will technology be in another 10 years? And more interestingly, where will church technology be? Well, ladies and gentlemen, you can stop wondering and see what we saw when we drove our Delorian straight…to…the future (2025, to be exact).
Technology Churches Will Be Using in 2025
1. Faith wearables. Fashionable (yet understated) bracelets and silicon tattoos to track your daily Bible reading, measure your time in prayer, and measure your time serving others. Sophisticated head-tilt, eyelid-scan, and distraction trackers will automatically filter true prayer/serving from attempts to rack up extra minutes.
2. No passwords. Remember back when we had to login to apps and websites? PTL that we moved beyond Password123 and John3:16! Now, our church people directory, giving system, and small group prayer room recognize us based on a discrete combination of biometric patterns. More time advancing our faith, less time fiddling with passwords.
3. Hoverplates. No more holding the plates for offering or communion! As soon as the praise band starts the offering song (typically a Chris Tomlin Jr. tune), the hoverplates will begin their way down each row of seats. Simply tap the edge of the plate and select the amount of your gift. Tap once to pay with Bitcoin, twice to make a RamseyCard debit.
4. Implantable Bible. Deuteronomy 6 is clear about impressing scripture on to our hearts, hands, and heads. But it took us until 2025 to figure out how. The IPC (Implantable Phyllactery Chip) can be easily implanted behind the ear, on the wrist, or under the hairline. Once installed, it allows instant recall of any version of the Bible. Please note that kids with IPC chips are not allowed to participate in AWANA sword drills, due to their unfair advantage.
5. Biometric child check-in. It’s 9:05am on Sunday and you’re late for church… again! Not to worry, just walk through the kids ministry door and keep moving. Our WeeJungle scanners will recognize your child, match them to the parent/guardian, and automatically signal the way to your child’s room using projected wayfinding devices. You’ll have junior in his classroom, building 3D models of the ark in less than 30 seconds. Remember that our goldfish snacks automatically adjust for gluten, tree nut, and xantham sensitivities.
6. Mission Trips to the moon. Forgive us if we occasionally wax nostalgic for the days of old. Taking a youth group to the lake, sitting around the campfire, singing multiple stanzas of Oceans by Hillsong–those were the days. Kids today are heading to the moon–literally! Trips can include work trips (building homes for the poorer moon colony kids), backyard Bible clubs (jump ropes work 6x better!), or vision trips where students experience the awe and wonder of God holding the whole world in His hands.
7. Church anywhere via Popup shelters. Inner cities, beachfront communities, or remote tribes can all experience true ekklesia fellowship. Brought to you by the same companies who once produced church-in-a-box technology, Popups include shelter, heat/cooling, sound systems, and comfortable, hypo-allergenic pews. Setup and teardown normally takes less than 15 minutes with available robot crews, slightly longer if you want to save money and just use human volunteers.
8. Holographic campus pastors. Let’s face it–campus pastoring is a tough assignment. This role emerged in the 90s and early 2000s because the main pastor just couldn’t be everywhere at the same time. With today’s lifelike holography, however, things have changed. Your main pastor can stand before you and speak, make eye contact, and even pray with you…without actually being there. Pastors can make themselves appear at any remote location, but thankfully the congregation members can use patented PastorBlock technology to ensure that the pastor stays at church… and only at church.
9. Spiritual needs glasses (for pastors only). As a pastor, you know that looking out across your congregation, there are needs and hurting souls everywhere. You just can’t always tell who. With the Pastor Lens eyewear, the power of personal profiles and big data allows you to see text right above each parishioner’s head. This information will help you discern those who:
a. Have health issues
b. Need marriage advice
c. Are exploring Christian faith
d. Say all the right buzzwords, but don’t have an Internet search history that matches
10. AI spiritual guide. Have you ever been in the midst of an argument with your spouse or kids… or in a difficult work situation… or stuck in traffic behind the rudest hovercar driver ever… and wished you could call upon a spiritual advisor in that very moment? Enter the AI Spiritual Guide. This helpful agent will give you the right verse, the right truth, the right John Piper or CS Lewis quote to conquer any challenge and make peace in any situation.
11. Air Guitars – finally! Your worship band will never be the same.
What did we miss? Chime in with your best predictions for church tech in 2025. And set your time machine for this date so we can come back and see what we got right.
